No Bricks Required

"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around to catch you."

~ John DePaola

I once heard a story about a man who achieved great success early in life.  He lived in the fast lane, both literally and figuratively.  One morning, as he sped to work in his brand new sports car, he thought he saw something dart out between the parked cars lining the street of an urban neighborhood.  He slowed down just long enough to glance in his mirrors.  There was nothing there.  He didn't think too much of it and continued.

Suddenly, he heard a loud thud on the passenger side door of his car.  This time, he stopped.  He got out of the car and found a dented door and brick lying next to the car.  He looked around and saw a young boy staring at him, wide-eyed and teary.  Angrily, he asked the boy if he had thrown the brick.  The boy responded that he had and was apologetic, explaining that his brother had fallen and he wasn't strong enough to pick him back up.  He said he'd tried to get the man's attention several times, but that he didn't notice, didn't stop, and there was no one else around to assist.

The man turned to look down the street and saw an older boy lying on the sidewalk with an overturned wheelchair beside him.  He softened, walked over, picked up the boy and put him back in his wheelchair.  He wished the brothers well and watched as they wandered down the street together.

As he walked back to his car, he decided not to repair the dent in the door.  He believed it was a good reminder that no one should move through life so fast that it is necessary to throw bricks at them in to get their attention.

Indeed.

Ghandi said, "There's more to life than increasing its speed".  However, we live in a forward momentum society where great emphasis seems to be placed on the fast track.  We somehow feel inadequate if we aren't constantly hustling and bustling.  We often have the illusion that there isn't enough time to do what needs doing, that we can't get enough done.  We deny ourselves the time to slow down because we feel it is a waste.  I would argue, however, that finding time in each day to clear your mind, still your body, and focus on nothing except your breath significantly increases productivity, reduces stress, and provides an opportunity to reset and refocus.

We must find ways to enjoy life more by slowing down… for when we go too fast, we not only miss the scenery and risk needing metaphorical bricks to capture our attention, but also we lose our sense of where we are going and the reason for which we are going there.

Live life at a "no bricks required" pace.

Slow Down Playlist

Not So Great Expectations

Have you ever noticed that some of life's happiest moments are ones in which we have no expectations?

Studies show that one of the common characteristics of happy people is that they have few expectations.  Expectations can lead to disappointment and a failure to appreciate what's right in front of us.  The more we expect, the less grateful we are for what we have and what we receive, and ingratitude is the mother of unhappiness.  When we let go of expectations, when we are able to simply accept life as it is, we are free to lighten up, live in the moment, and appreciate the everyday beauty that surrounds us.

Of course we all have things to do, deadlines to meet, plans to complete, ambitions to consider and visions for which to strive.  We expect a great deal of ourselves.  Letting go of expectations doesn't mean that we live aimless lives.  It simply means that as we work towards achieving our goals, we do so with a sense of self-acceptance and an understanding that we are exactly where we belong at any point along the path.  We have to recognize and appreciate the difference between having aspirations and having expectations.   Life doesn't always adhere to our to do lists the way we'd like it to, and therefore, we can either lament about the things we aren't getting done fast or well enough, panic about things not turning out as expected, or, just as we do on the mat, we can accept ourselves exactly as we are at any given moment, take a breath, and continue to move forward.

We instinctively want to create and maintain a sense of momentum around our responsibilities and desires, but in the grand scheme of things, our happiness doesn't really depend upon how quickly we progress but, rather, with how accepting we are of ourselves and our present reality.

"Live your life.  Sing your song.  Not full of expectations.  Not for the ovations.  Do it for the joy of it."

~ Rasheed Ogunlaru

Often we expect so much more than the world has to offer.  If we learn to stop expecting impossible perfection in ourselves and in others, we can live more fully in the present, better appreciate the beauty that surrounds us, and feel a greater sense of contentment.

Have you ever noticed that some of the happiest moments are the ones in which we have no expectations?

Expectations Playlist

Failure is a Great Option

It is often said that failure is not an option.  While I certainly understand this concept in the grand scheme of things, I believe that failure is, indeed, an important option along the way to ultimate success.  Perhaps success should be defined as how you handle failure.  In the end, it doesn't really matter how many times you fall, as long as you get back up one more time than you fall down.

Failure is delay, not defeat.  Thomas Edison failed numerous times before inventing the light bulb and is quoted as saying, "I have not failed.  I've just found 999 ways that won't work."  He also said that our greatest weakness lies in giving up.  I believe that in this age where instant gratification is becoming more and more a norm, too many people fear failure and/or give up too quickly when things don't come easily or naturally.

Failure is one of the greatest teachers that we have.  Life involves risk taking, and sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail.  Both states are equally important.  Using yoga as an example, I can't even begin to count the number of failed attempts I've made at challenging arm balances and inversions.  I've experienced humbling face plants and worn the back of the arm bruising to attest to this fact.  However, had I not learned from my failed attempts and continued to "try just one more time",  I would never have been able to master any of those poses.  In the process, I learned things about myself, my attitude, and my body mechanics... and those things can easily be applied to other poses, and more importantly, situations.

Robert F. Kennedy said, "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly," so go forth and fail.  And when you do, get back up and try again.  The courage to continue to press on until you are successful is what matters most.

Failure is the Only Option Playlist

Road Trippin'

"All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware."

~ Martin Buber

Summer vacation often brings to mind road trips.  Miles and miles of music, chatter, snacks and unexpected stops along the way.  The destination of a road trip is the goal, but the journey is often where true adventure lies.

In life, the journey IS the destination, but as with any good road trip, we have to know in which direction to travel, how to determine the best route by using the resources we have available to us, maintain a positive attitude and sense of humor, and understand who will make the best travel companions.

As an end of summer celebration, our sangha came together for a road trip themed outdoor practice.  Many thanks to the fabulous yogi(ni)s who shared this practice with me... it was a beautiful evening of poolside pose.  Enjoy the pictures and playlist.

                                                                   

                                                                      

 

 Road Trip Playlist

Labels

Recently, while dropping my youngest child off, I noticed a pair of kindergarteners holding hands and skipping into school  Physically, the two could not have looked more different... everything from their skin and hair color, height and weight to the clothes they were wearing and their fabulous choices in lunch boxes and backpacks, each indicating a style all his/her own.  Their joy in that moment was contagious, and I suspect I was not the only carpool mom smiling at the purity of their enthusiasm as they bounded towards the building.

And it struck me...

We start out so inclusive and accepting of others, excited, engaged.  We are pure in thought and without prejudice.  Somewhere along the way, though, so many people lose their ability to focus on this concept of togetherness.  When do we begin to mistrust people who we perceive as different from us?  What makes us judge one another based on things like gender, political party, religious affiliation, ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, appearance and social status?

The truth is that we are tragically losing young people as a result of the divisive nature of labels... labels that are placed on kids, often from an early age, by other children as well as by adults, labels that are learned somewhere along the way.  We are not born with the “labeling gene”.  While we hope that we are raising our kids to know right from wrong, to be accepting and inclusive, the truth is that as adults, we do, indeed, model labeling behavior in both subtle and overt ways.  Labels bias our opinions and perceptions and have the ability to separate us, one from another.  While it’s true that labels also have the ability to connect us, it seems as though exclusivity can arise even in the most well-intentioned groups.  

W.C. Fields said, “it’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to,” that matters.  We often buy into others’ perceptions of us which, at times, can affect our outlook and actions.  Further, we try to neatly define who we are via various labels we create for ourselves.  None of us can be linearly packaged... we are far too complicated for that.  

We must evolve.  Whether it is our own bias and judgments, others’ perceptions of us, or our self-imposed definitions, the divisive labeling has to stop.  We are more alike than different, and we, as thoughtful people, must stand up and speak up for the voiceless among us.  

Namaste is sometimes simply defined as “I honor the place in you where, when you are in that place, and I am in that place, there is only one of us.”

We are one.  Let us cultivate metta and make a difference.

Namaste.

Labels Playlist

How Do You Get Through Your Day?

How do you get through your day?  Make it from one place to another?  One task to the next?

Take the time to watch this video.  Be inspired by the power and impact of unconditional love and no limits, positive thinking.  It is worth 8 minutes of your life.

My Perspective on Perception

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."

~ Abraham Lincoln

My stepfather is one of the most generous, joyful, positive souls I've ever known.  He also happens to have been a POW in WWII.  During the war, he was a medic.  He was captured when he crossed enemy lines in order to try to obtain more medical supplies to help the many wounded soldiers around him.  As a POW, he suffered many atrocities, including being thrown off of a moving train.  However, when he shares stories with others about this difficult time in his life, he does so with a calm, reassuring tone and always says "I was lucky.  I was a medic so I got to help people, I got to save lives.  I never had to hurt anyone or take a life".  Further, he feels that his capture was purposeful in that, because of his medical know-how, he was able to take care of the other prisoners with whom he shared his time in captivity.  This thought alone kept him afloat while he was imprisoned and allows him now, even all of these years later, to speak of this experience as purposeful.

It's all about perceptions. 

Our lives are not really about the things at which we look, but, rather, about how we choose to see and feel them.  We often have little control over what happens to us, and the fact is that what actually occurs is relatively insignificant compared to our perceptions of the situations and events.  Perception, created by the stories that we tell ourselves and others about what happens to us, typically becomes reality.

However, we do have a choice.  We can look at challenges as growth opportunities or as failures.  We can see the glass as half-empty or half-full.  We can view the world as loving or hostile.  Regardless of which path we choose, we will be correct, because our perceptions will continue to reinforce our choices and shape how we see our lives.  

Stephen R. Covey wrote "To change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions".  While it may seem easier said than done to change our perceptions, I wonder what might happen if we make a conscious effort to do so?  

What if at the end of each day, no matter what kind of day it was, we took a few moments to ask ourselves the following questions?

1.  What surprised me today?
2.  What moved me today?
3.  What motivated me today?
4.  What made me smile today?
5.  What inspired me today?

Try it.  You just might find that you view the world from a different and better place.  You have the power to alter your reality simply by seeing things in more positive ways.   After all, in the end, what we see very much depends on the clarity of the lens through which we look.

My Perspective on Perception Playlist